Monthly Archives: February 2017

2 Blogs in on day???

Okay, I know that I already blogged today but dude, I have to brag for a second.

Tonight was supposed to be our sound tech rehearsal for Godspell.  What that means is that not only was it our first time together with the live band, but we were also supposed to all get our mics and test against the soundboard with our sound tech guy.  Well, it turns out our sound tech guy bailed on us and our replacement couldn’t make it tonight.  Also, this was the first time for the band playing together all as one unit so it took them two hours after we got there to get their stuff together.  We just speed ready lines in the front lobby.
The reason I am telling you all this is because techs are typically late night rehearsals, the director had promised everyone pizza before the whole thing fell apart, and she held true to her promise.
So while she brought in six pizza pies from Papa Johns with a vat of garlic sauce packages, it smelled so crazy good.  I told myself that I would eat my little half pita sandwich that I brought and my snap peas and if I was still hungry I would eat one slice.
Needless to say I was not still hungry, so I didn’t have a piece.  While my cast mates ate with great vigor and went back for seconds, I instead posted a pic on Instagram about how I was being good and was rewarded with all kinds of encouragement.  That helped a LOT! 
I know it’s not much, but it was a huge step for me.  Normally I would have dived head first into that pizza and bathed in it.  I’m really proud of myself that I have managed to get my willpower back and it is sticking. 
Of course my period is coming up rather quickly so that will be a huge test, but I think I’ll do okay.  As long as I am prepared.
Tonight I got home around nine and the first thing I did before relaxing was make my breakfast, lunch and snacks for tomorrow.  That is what I have to do each night no matter how late I get home, otherwise I am setting myself up for failure. 
I feel like I’m finally getting on the right path.  I even entertained the thought that as soon as the show goes up, I might start my running training again.  I haven’t run in at least three years, but I know that when I did I felt amazing and eventually looked great too.  The timing seems right.  It will be after daylight savings so it will still be light out after work.
I really love the idea of it, we’ll see if I put it into practice.
Anyhoo, that was my brag for the night.  I feel like I earned it.  🙂

Life and Weight updates.

So I know I said I would update on the flood situation, but there was really nothing to update.  Around three that afternoon my husband arrived home from work early so we could clear out his musical equipment from the basement.  We had moved a lot of his guitars last month when we were at risk for flooding but since the river was due to get higher that night, we also moved out his PA system and a bunch of amps.  In other words, the heavy stuff.
Around four we got a message on our phones that we were under a mandatory evacuation. 
We sat around and weighed the odds.  I had been checking the hydrograph all day and so we did some math and decided we were going to stick it out.  We had full view of the river and knew that if it got to a certain point we would just grab the pooch and hit the road to my husbands parents house a few towns over.
We stayed up and watched and waited.  I should note that my anxiety level is normally high on a good day, but this day it was through the roof.  The dog could sense it and she was extra nervous and needy as well.  My poor husband.
We finally decided to get some sleep and set an alarm for midnight which was when the river was predicted to crest.
Long story short, the river came VERY CLOSE to overflowing the bank.  My neighbor that lives across the street on the river side, had a couple of inches flowing over his concrete porch, but then it started to recede. 
So I wasn’t happy with all the drama it caused, but in a way I’m kind of happy that we now have a benchmark to know how high the river has to get with the hydrograph to know when we will start flooding.  It kind of takes the guess work out of it for next time. 

Anyhoo, that was that.  Onto the weight stuff.  As of yesterday I am officially down 7 Lbs in a month.  This makes me very happy.  Not just for the loss, but because I am finally starting to feel the motivation again.  For two years or maybe even longer, I was floundering.  Just gaining and gaining and not caring because I had zero desire to do anything about it.  That led to more depression which led to more not caring and eating, and it was just a vicious cycle that I couldn’t break.
I’m really getting into eating more whole foods and less processed crap, and I’m even enjoying it.  Who knew?  The key, of course, is being prepared.  I had gotten really good last week and prepping all my stuff for the week in advance.  The next two weeks are going to be harder as we are going to be going into hardcore rehearsals before the show goes up.  That means more late nights and less time to prepare.  So having said that I am into eating less processed crap, I do foresee a lot of frozen dinners in my future when I get home at ten at night or later.
Still though, I am going to try my best to stick with my daily routine of overnight oats or yogurt for breakfast, a pita sandwich for lunch and fruits and veggies for my snacks.  My new fave combo btw is red seedless grapes and colby jack cheese bites.  OMG, so yummy!
So that is about it, just a quick update.  I’m just glad to feel the motivation and willpower again.  It’s been a long time, and I’m glad to welcome them back into my life. 
Remind me of this next week when I am sleep deprived and just want to eat that doughnut.  😉


Updates and some flooding.

Okay, so my weigh in on Friday was a big fat zero weight loss, but no gain so I still consider that a win.  I’m still down five pounds in three weeks and that is totally acceptable to me.  I need to remember that this isn’t a race.  Every single time I have lost a significant amount of weight, I always seem to remember it as just falling off in no time.  Then I go back and look at my journals and calendars and realize that was never the case.  It has been and will always be a slow and painful journey.  I always have those “wanting to give up” moments because I have not become instantly skinny.
In other news, we will probably evacuate our house tonight and head for higher ground as all the recent rainfall has put our house at serious risk of flooding.  So much for the drought in California.  Hey, don’t get me wrong.  After last years fires, I’m more than happy to have rain and lots of it…just maybe not all at once?
Our house sits right on the river and most times of year it is a beautiful thing.  Nothing better than sipping a cup of coffee out on the back deck with the sun shining, birds chirping and a babbling brook in the background.  Seriously, it’s a little slice of heaven on earth.  Until we get too much rain, like we have this winter.
In January, we had a lot of rain and were very near evacuations.  In fact the sheriff knocked on our door at two in the morning to let us know there were voluntary evacuations happening at that time.  We were probably within a foot of the river flooding. 
Right now we are probably two or three feet away, but the bad news is that this time there isn’t really going to be any break in the rain until tomorrow night so more than likely, the water is going to continue to rise.  🙁
The husband is currently at work and I’ve got a bag packed for us and he dog, ready to go at a moments notice.  I’m not especially worried about LOSING the house, I’m guessing more than anything our basement would get the brunt of the flooding, but we live on a one way dead end street and we are at the very end of it.  Therefore, we need to keep ahead of the water as far as washing out the road, or we are stuck here for who knows how long with no access to get to work or anywhere.  That is where the sense of urgency lies.
Thankfully, we have a place to go.  My husbands parents live a couple of towns over so we won’t have to worry about having to take the dog to a hotel or anything.  It’s important to see the good things in all this chaos.
So more than likely, I will be away from my laptop for a few days.  I will have my phone and my Ipad so I will try to update as anything happens.  Of course, I just went shopping so I have a fridge full of good for me foods that might go to waste in the meantime.  Not sure how the weight in is going to be this week after a few days of eating at my in laws.  They may not have many good choices in their fridge.
That’s about it from here.  I’m going to go load up the car.
Stay dry and make better choices!  I’m going to try to.  🙂

What I didn't eat on Valentine's Day.

So today was a day like any other day.  I got up later than I wanted to and had to rush around getting ready for work.
I got to work just in time and fixed myself my coffee and my water and dove right in.
A couple hours later a co-worker arrives with an Enchilada Casserole.  An hour after that my office manager comes in with donuts, cupcakes and cookies.  Also, another co-worker came around and delivered little V-Day bags of candy on everyone’s desks. 
I heard that the casserole was bomb, the cupcakes yummy, the donuts divine and the cookies okay.  I wouldn’t know, because I DIDN’T EAT ANY OF THEM!
I was quite proud of myself.  I had my greek yogurt and tablespoon of granola along with a banana for breakfast.  For lunch I had my meal that I had prepped this weekend that consisted of a brown rice and lentil mixture, a piece of fish, a half a yam and a mix of non starchy veggies.  It filled me up and I didn’t feel tempted.
I got home and found my husband was cooking up some ramen type dish with chicken and cauliflower.  Now, the chicken and cauli I can get behind, but the noodles will have to go. 
I love my husband to the moon and back, but he doesn’t share my need to be so rigid on the diet.  He is more of a wing it and what he creates in the kitchen is a pinch of this and a handful of that…which is great.  I’m lucky that he even cooks at all, but for dieting and counting calories, it’s not so good.
So, the noodles are going to be replaced with a little bit of brown rice and the rest will remain the same. 
What all this points to, is that after a year or more of having zero desire or motivation to diet, I seem to finally have it back!  I contribute this to launching the Youtube channel and this blog to hold myself accountable.  I can’t even tell you the last time I have cared about what I put into my mouth.  I mean, I CARED, but I still ate it anyway.  There was never any hesitation. 
“I shouldn’t eat th-” NOM NOM NOM!
It feels so good to finally have some power back over my own body. 
It’s going to be a long road and I am aware of that.  So many times today I wondered why I couldn’t just have one bite of one of those delicious morsels in the break room, but I didn’t do it! 
It’s the small victories that pave the way to the big ones.
Next time I plan on scolding myself on the fact that I seem to think that weekend calories just don’t count…