Monthly Archives: March 2017
We are one week out from the play going up. I mention this because at this time in every other play I have ever done, I am stressed to the max. I am bawling on a daily basis, barely keeping my eyes open at work and just in an overall foul mood most of the time.
I am happy to report that is not the case with this play. Part of it has to do with an amazing director that has her shit together, but I am really thinking a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am not eating crap.
It sounds stupid to say that, but I really believe it to be true. I wake up every morning expecting to be just cranky and crying at the drop of a hat and ready to snap at someone for no reason, because that is they way that this normally works for me.
On a normal night when I am not doing a show I am in bed by ten at the latest. This past week I haven’t even been home at that hour and have been averaging bedtime around 12:15 or so. Unheard of for me on a work night unless in a play…where I react like I spoke of above because of the sleep deprivation.
To prove my theory even more, I have to let you know that I am about to start my period. Aaaaaand, I have the WORST PMS on a good day. To the point where I have to apologize to people on a regular basis for my shitty attitude and for biting their heads off.
So….add all that together in a blender and you would think I would be ready to do some serious damage to someone or something right? It hasn’t been so.
I have been a little cranky at things that I feel are justified, but no more so than a regular day for me. I really think that eating more of an actual “food” based diet is totally making me more sane.
So there have been a few things that have made me feel good about myself lately above and beyond the actual weight loss, and I would like to touch on them here.
Okay, so the first thing is the fact that I am USING ALL MY FOOD! I can safely tell you that I have never in my life bought and entire bag of grapes/snap peas/apple slices/etc and eaten the entire thing. I have the best of intentions while shopping and often grab lots of healthy options…that then sit and rot in my fridge basically untouched, while I eat all kinds of other bad options.
You guys! I am actually finishing healthy food in my fridge and not throwing it out! This is a pretty big deal for me as the throwing out of healthy produce was a weekly event in my house. I have to say I’m really proud of this. I have actually been able to throw away empty bags and then put that item on the shopping list to get more!
They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. I am actually CRAVING food that is good for me. I love how I feel lately! Even though I am sleep deprived due to the show and am totally PMSing right now, I am in a much better place mentally than I have been in years. I can only attribute that to the fact that I am eating more whole foods and less crap. That is HUGE. If I actually get my ass in gear and start exercising, I will be invincible!
Speaking of that….today I actually thought about how much I’d love to start running again once the show goes up. I obviously know that I wouldn’t start out running again, but the thought of getting outside and walking after work made me insanely happy. Starting the Couch 2 5K again is my goal. The thought popped into my head today and it made me feel so good. The show goes up on the 10th and after that I get my weekdays other than Thursday and Friday back and I honestly can’t wait to get out on the track again. Fresh air and that amazing feeling you get after a work out? Sign me up!
I am taking responsibility for my food prep when I get home, no matter how late, before relaxing. It might lead to me staying up a bit later, but at least my food is done when I go to bed and I don’t sit like a Zombie at midnight wondering where my time went and still have nothing to bring to work for snacks the next day. The ultimate goal is of course to meal prep on the weekends for the rest of the week, but that ship has sailed until this Saturday as that is the first day I will have off of rehearsal and work. So I’m still proud that even if it takes me a half an hour a night, I avoid playing on my computer or watching TV to wind down until I get my food prepped for the next day.
I’m finding ways to fix things. Tonight I had a late play rehearsal and my husband had a late band rehearsal. He got home about an hour before I did and felt bad that he didn’t have anything for my dinner so he made up a box of Kraft Mac N Cheese. He heaped it into a giant bowl and left it for me. I LOVE the blue box more than most foods. I know it is so nasty for you. It’s florescent orange cheese for crying out loud, but it is so yummy! And bless his heart for cooking for me even when he was tired and didn’t want to. But as soon as I got home I began to think of ways to fix this meal. First it needed portion control, than it needed protein and a veggie. Mind you, this was all after eleven o clock because it took me a half an hour to prep my oats and snacks for tomorrow. There wasn’t much in the fridge. Finally I settled on a boca burger that was frost bitten but still good and a small package of “sauced” vegetables from the freezer. So I scraped the “leftovers” of my small portion of mac N Cheese into a container and stuck it into the fridge and nuked the veggie and boca patty. Boom. Just as satisfying with less carb hangover and calories.
I am sure there are more but it is late and I need to go to bed if I want to maintain any sort of good mind frame. I will continue a list and write about more later.