Monthly Archives: August 2017
As I wrote in my last blog entry, I have started working out. Of course that was just the very first day, but I was bragging on it pretty hard.
I kept it up pretty well. From last Monday I worked out every day –counting my dance rehearsal at the theater on Saturday because it kicked my butt. I gave myself Sunday off and regretted it on Monday.
One of the many benefits I’ve experienced since adding 30 minutes of cardio and a bit of strength training in is that my mind is clear and I have more energy. I do the work out when I get home from work and I still experience the benefits the next morning. My head is clearer and I just feel better overall. I get a much deeper sleep and am far less cranky and less prone to depression.
Monday I felt lethargic and kind of blah. I can only assume that was because of my lack of activity on Sunday. Lesson learned. Even if I only take the dog for a short walk, I feel better having some sort of activity every single day.
What I have to stop now is feeling like I can eat more because I am burning more calories. Exercise is not a license to eat like a pig.
I am reigning it in since yesterday. I had been getting off track in my eating for quite some time so I really can’t blame adding fitness into my mix. I got complacent.
I blamed the depression that gripped me for so long. Now I’m blaming the working out…time to face facts and put the blame where it belongs. It’s time to get back to the things that helped start my journey back in January. Making better decisions. Eating more whole foods. Portion control.
I got lazy. I didn’t want to put in the effort that it takes to be prepared in eating well. We all know that in order to lose weight and eat better we have to have a game plan and stick to it. When you are prepared and you have your meals prepped and ready, you obviously do better than just winging it.
Yes, there are always better decisions that can be made but putting yourself in an area where temptation is an issue is a slippery slope, at least for me.
I have lost almost 25 pounds since January, but I did the majority of that back at the beginning of the year. Lately I have just been losing and gaining the same few pounds back and forth. And for a while I was okay with that. It was okay to maintain. It’s not enough now. I want more.
Anyhoo, the workouts that I’m doing are pretty simple, but that is what I want since I am easing myself back into the whole fitness thing again. I’m doing the Walk Away The Pounds DVD’s. Nothing less than a two mile equivalent. Usually about a half an hour. I’ve just ordered some three, four and five mile ones for the weekends when I have more time to devote to it.
So far I’m really digging them and they’ve been giving me quite a work out. Nothing compared to the choreography we ran through on Saturday, but I feel like even though it had only been a little less than a week of working out, that I felt better conditioned than I would have with out it.
I feel like I’m using these as a base and once I get better, I will add more impact and maybe start running again.
Either way, this feels amazing and I can’t believe that I have skipped this for so long.
Since Monday I have been working out on my own. In my last entry I detailed how I tried to find a gym around here that met my needs but failed miserably. However, what I didn’t mention in that entry was my social anxiety and what a high part that played in my decision to not join a gym.
Anyhoo, Monday I did a workout DVD.
Last night I wasn’t called to rehearsal until 7:30 and that isn’t enough time to go home, so I put on my work out clothes after work threw everything in the car and headed around the business park where I worked for a walk/jog. This is the same area that I did a lot of my training on lunch breaks for the half marathons back when I had a full hour lunch break. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be. Before I left work, I put some wet paper towels into a ziplock bag and then used them when I got to rehearsal to take a bit of a whore’s bath in the bathroom while changing back into my street clothes.
Tonight I did the same workout DVD that I had done on Monday.
So my thoughts:
I haven’t felt as clear headed and generally happy as I have the last three days in a VERY long time.
If you have followed my youtube channel, you are aware that I had been suffering from a pretty severe depression for the last few months. It comes and goes in it’s severity, but it has never really gone away. My anxiety has also been very high. Having panic attacks for little or no reason. It was really starting to freak me out.
The last three days I have been in the BEST mood and little to no anxiety.
Having said all of that. None of this is surprising to me. I am not a stranger to exercise and how wonderful it makes me feel. My problem has been that I couldn’t seem to get the motivation to get back into working out, at all in the last couple of years. Getting off my couch has seemed like the hardest thing to do. I have grown complacent to my sedentary lifestyle and I was comfortable there. I was even willing to let myself fall into the depths of a deep depression, knowing that fitness would help me out of it.
I can’t explain why it seemed like such a hard thing for me to do. It just did. I just thought it would hurt so much and I would fail. And in all honestly, my anxiety had gotten so high that in the back of my mind, I probably feared that I would drop of a heart attack at the slightest bit of cardio activity.
Guys, ever since Monday I have been CRAVING my workout. No joke! I couldn’t wait to get home tonight to do my DVD. Last night I was lamenting that I wouldn’t be able to do a workout at home because of rehearsal, and when I made the decision to walk/jog my old stomping grounds I was soooo happy with myself.
It should also be noted that I am pretty sleep deprived right now because of rehearsals. I am normally in bed by nine thirty on weeknights and by seven or eight on a Sunday to prepare for the week. Sunday and Tuesday I wasn’t in bed until 11 or midnight both nights because of rehearsal. While this might not seem like much to a youngster that doesn’t require much sleep, this is a HUGE lack of sleep to me. One that typically leaves me grouchy and emotional for the rest of the week.
I have felt fantastic all work week! I might have drank more coffee than normal,(which by the way, normally makes my anxiety go through the roof – not this time!) but I have felt pretty darn amazing.
I hope I am not jinxing myself by posting this, but I don’t think so. I’m really happy and excited to me working out again and I love this feeling!!!
So I am going into another theater production. It’s Rocky Horror this time and I have been cast as one of the Magenta’s in a rotating cast of three. Don’t ask, it’s too long to explain.
Knowing how horribly out of shape I am and how I will have to be wearing some sort of maids outfit onstage, I got it in my head that I was going to join a gym! I was going to finally start working out damn it!
I did a little research on nationwide gyms that would have a branch where my mom lives in Maine, since I will be going there for two weeks in October before I debut in the show. Anytime Fitness seemed to be the winner. I was hoping we had a Planet Fitness near where I live but we don’t. I got really excited that Anytime Fitness was 24 hours and all over the country and the website made it sound like they had these great shower facilities and locker rooms, and there was a branch three blocks from the theater! It seemed perfect.
So I walked my happy ass into the location Saturday before rehearsal and got a tour. The facility itself was very nice! Very clean and hardly anyone in there on a Saturday afternoon. Lots of machines and weight stations. It was looking promising. Until he told me that they had ONE shower and no locker room. I was still willing to join but when he told me the shortest contract term was 12 months and there was a 99 dollar penalty fee for breaking it early, my heart sank. I was hoping for something more short term since the play would be over in November.
This, among other reasons kept me from joining.
When I got home that night I hopped on the interwebs and started researching again. There is a gym that is native to California but has several locations here called In Shape. The website made it look amazing! They had everything, even a pool!
I signed up for a free 7 day trial that doesn’t start until you walk in and activate it and spoke to one of my cast mates excitedly about it the next day. She was sad to inform me that she had also done the trial previously and found the clientele at this location to be obnoxious and snooty and the staff not very knowledgeable. In further talking with other people over the course of the last 24 hours, that opinion was backed up multiple times. I also checked Yelp and saw some scary reviews about the cleanliness.
I checked on other gyms in the area but I just keep hitting a brick wall.
Plus, if I were to be completely candid, I’m not sure how often I would talk myself out of going. I know myself pretty well after 43 years and I can already hear the excuses clouding my brain of why I can’t go on certain nights.
So I thought about it a lot and I realized that I have a lot of tools at home that I could utilize to start myself in the direction of working out. I have a crap ton of work out DVD’s that I’ve never even touched! I have a Tony Little Gazelle that is currently serving as a clothes rack and I have a mini stair stepper in the upper house gathering dust.
What I really would want to go to the gym for would be a treadmill.
So what if I worked out at home? And if, AND ONLY IF, I did it on a consistent basis, what if I plunked down the money I would have spend on gym dues into a savings account to purchase a treadmill?? It would take a little while to get the one I want because I have expensive taste, but isn’t that the point of the dangling carrot??
My biggest problem with working out at home is that once I get home from work and my butt hits the couch, I ain’t moving. It’s a proven fact. So tonight I decided to try and jedi mind trick myself. I got home from work and said hello to the dogs, before putting on my gym clothes. I kept saying to myself: “I am not at home, I am at the gym.” I put a work out DVD on the TV and proceeded to do a half an hour of fat burning cardio. This is the first time I have deliberately (not choreography for a show) worked out in at least a year, possibly two. I felt AMAZING afterwards. Still do.
If I can keep up this mindset, I think I might be on to something. I hope so.