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And I quote:

“eh … I watched a video from you from like 1.5 years ago, then watched this which was shot 1 month ago and you’re just as fat. Did you not make any progress in 1.5 years of low carb? wtf”

This was posted on one of my recent episodes of Lo Carb Cafe. Like I needed someone to point that fact out, but yes, the truth is I have been low carb dieting for quite some time and I am still fat.

What wasn’t taken into consideration, is that I have gone through periods of “falling off the wagon” or trying other diets and gained weight back…MANY of these periods.

The truth is, I am human.  I LOVE carbs, and often sabotage my progress because I convince myself that I can’t stay away from them.  I am guilty of using every excuse in the book to cheat on my diet.  “I had a bad day at work, I’m going to cheer myself up by having pizza.“  “I’ve been so good this week, one little cookie won’t hurt.”

And my biggest problem is, is that I can’t stop at one little cookie.  I can’t stop at one cheat meal.  One turns into two and two turns into an entire weekend of gorging on sweets and starches.  It’s all about feast or famine with me and it always has been since I first cheated on the low carb lifestyle in 2004.

I had been so good and so consistent for about a year and a half on low carb.  I was completely dedicated and dropped 80 pounds in that time.  I would NOT cheat.  I went through a phase of eating low carb snacks and candy’s in abundance and that slowed my loss but I never let pasta or bread or potatoes pass my lips.

I remember the night it all ended.  We were living in Phoenix at the time and my dream had come true.  My favorite band on the planet was finally playing the states after having broken up in the 90’s and reformed in the 2000’s.  I had never seen them live and it was a 17 year long dream of mine.  We flew out to California and saw them in all of their glory.  It was one of the best nights of my life and I decided I needed it to be perfect…so we ordered pizza.  And breadsticks.  And the next day as we were on our way to the airport, a stop at In & Out Burger for burgers WITH buns and fries.  After that it kind of never stopped.  I mean, I would go back on the diet to lose a percentage of what I gained back but in the end, over the course of the last six years I had managed to regain 40 pounds.

Here is the good news.  In the last month and a half or so I have managed to get dedicated to the diet again.  Not only that, but I have begun exercising regularly.  Something I never did when I was losing the weight previously.  And while I have not lost enough weight to be as low on the scale as I was in 2004, the adding of the exercise has proven very affective and I am now wearing a size in jeans that I have not worn since before I met my husband.

That is ELEVEN years ago!  I was actually dancing in the dressing room when I tried them on. 

So yes, I am still fat, I still have a long way to go, and I will always struggle with my weight.  But I am TRYING, and little by little I have proven to myself that as long as I keep plugging away I will get results.  As frustrating as it sounds, it may take years, but it will happen.

So keep the comments, good or bad, coming.  Either way, they are encouraging me to better my life.

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