Okay, so it’s no secret that I am a big girl. And being a big girl, I have big arms, funny how that works. Something I discovered early on in my running training is that when I run for more than two days in a row I get a nasty chafing underneath my arms in my armpit area. It was something I just came to accept. I hated it and it hurt. It made me not want to go for my runs, but it was just something I had to accept. Years of running came at a price of not being able to rest my arms properly without pain.
Recently, my husband told that he switches out his deodorants every so often because he feels that after a while, his body gets used to one brand and it just stops working as well. This isn’t something he hasn’t told me before, but I usually don’t pay much attention because I was raised on Secret deodorant that tells you it is PH balanced so your body doesn’t get used to it.
I don’t like the smell of most deodorants. I think they smell like bathrooms and that doesn’t thrill me. Secret came out with a vanilla scented one a few years back and I fell in love with it. It appears that they are discontinuing it, so about two weeks ago I was at the grocery store and decided to look for something new.
Well, I have to say I’m a total convert. It not only keeps me from stinking better than my old favorite Secret, but I’ve been running consistently the past two weeks and I have not had ONE problem with the usual painful chafing. This is a pretty huge deal for me since I used to put off going on a run because of the inability to put my arms down without pain after. I LOVE this product!!!
In other news, I’ve been running pretty regularly, whether I want to or not. It has helped immensely with the work stress I’ve been having lately and it really calms me down after. I don’t think I would have survived this week without it. I have hated every step of the way some days, but I always feel amazing after.
The Wharf to Wharf is a week away and while I haven’t gotten a LOT of distance in, I’m more confident in myself than I was the last time I ran it. It’s going to hurt, I have no doubt about that, but my only goal is just to finish before the truck comes by to clear the road.
My food intake has not been so good. Yesterday, after rehearsal I hit the store and stocked up on a LOT of frozen diet dinners. The Lean Cuisines and generics of that sort of brand to try and help. I’m going to be going into rehearsals of my current play and I’m hoping it will make it easier on my husband for not having to cook every night and also easier on me for actually having some sort of portion control. I know it’s a lot of sodium but I’m hoping I can just use this as a sort of jump start.
That’s pretty much all I have to report for right now.
So yeah, I know. I’ve not really been around this blog and there is a good reason for that.
I gave up.
It all started when I gave myself permission to take the year off from the Vegas 1/2 marathon. I had done it that previous three years and decided I would skip it for 2013 and give myself a break. Apparently, I gave myself a break from EVERYTHING. From exercise to trying to eat right, I have pretty much done NOTHING in the way of trying to get healthy.
Sure, I would start a diet for a couple weeks but even then I was taking little cheats here and here and then complaining because I wasn’t losing any weight. I’d overlook my cheating and get frustrated at my lack of results and quit the diet. Well, you can only be in denial for so long.
My year of denial has cost me an extra 30 pounds, depression, mood swings and the inability to walk a mile without my lower back seizing up like it used to when I was 300+ pounds and I couldn’t walk more than a block.
I’m at 250 pounds. That is the heaviest I’ve been in a darn good long time. A tight size 22 with an uncomfortable amount of girth around my stomach. I feel unhealthy.
So here I go again. I have rejoined weight watchers and started back on the points today. I also took my first walk in forever on my lunch break. I didn’t even make it a mile. After fifteen minutes I had to call it and go inside.
But it’s a start. I want more than anything to get healthy again, definitely more than food.
I know that the holidays are a stupid crazy time to start a diet but I will allow myself to indulge on Christmas with my husbands family as long as I don’t go crazy and get right back to tracking the next day. Working out will become a necessity as I do no like how I feel mentally and emotionally when I don’t.
So here we go again and I look forward to feeling better and hopefully shrinking once more.
So my weekend to myself is winding down already. It’s been a lot of fun and I have stuck to my diet!
Friday night after work, I drove about an hour to get to my hotel, but before getting to the hotel I had one stop to make:
In N Out Burger is a rare treat for me since the I don’t live near one. There is one in Salinas but that is kind of a haul to get a burger. Since this was just a block from my hotel I knew what I was getting for dinner. A Double Double Protein Style -plain with just cheese is only 3 carbs so I got two and a diet coke.
I ate one before I even left the parking lot because I was STARVING and then checked into my hotel.
The room was pretty cool. Has a flat screen TV, fridge and microwave. It fit all of my needs. I unpacked and settled in. The television had Direct TV so I was overwhelmed with the amount of movie channels that were offered and spend a great deal of time vegging out to the tube. I facebooked, wrote a little and did a bit of crochet before eating the second burger and dozing off to the tv.
This morning I woke up and got into my bathing suit. I hit the hot tub and relaxed for a while before taking a shockingly cold dip in the pool and then back to the room for a quick shower. Once I was dressed I headed over to Black Bear Diner across the street and got some take out. I got a Hobo’s Omelet with a side of bacon.
I ate about half. I was going to have lunch with a friend that was traveling up to see me so I didn’t want to fill up but I was starving. Oh and I ate all the bacon because, well…BACON!
My friend arrived a little bit later and we headed over to Chevy’s for lunch. The service was really slow but good. Our server explained that someone had failed to show up for work today and he was the only one there. I really appreciated his honesty and felt really bad for him. The speediness of the service didn’t matter to me today. I’m not sweating the small stuff this weekend. It turned out to be a good thing since I hadn’t seen my friend Koly in FOREVER so it gave us a lot of time to sit and talk at length.
We both got the mixed Fajitas. I didn’t substitute anything I just pulled off the rice and beans when it came and the rest was “legal”. Tons of meat and veggies and sour cream and guacamole. It was a little slice of heaven.
After lunch we discovered that Koly’s car wouldn’t start. It was actually her dad’s truck and the key was kind of warped. She came to the conclusion that it was just not recognizing the key because she could put it over to the start side and pull the key right out. She called her boyfriend to go get her dad’s spare key while we walked back to my hotel, less than a block away. We then took my car to the outlet malls since we had planned on shopping anyway and now had about an hour to kill until her boyfriend got there.
I had never been to the outlet mall and having been now, I can say I think they are a bit overrated. Not enough parking and they are outside. In the Gilroy heat. I didn’t like having to go round and round and round to find a parking space. However, I DID find a really cute outfit at the Dress Barn out there complete with matching earrings and bracelets.
We tried the other half of the outlet malls but we couldn’t find parking. I had allotted myself enough carbs to grab a sugar free Starbucks (two pumps sugar free cinnamon dolce and heavy cream) but with out parking I couldn’t get it. Oh well. Maybe in the morning before I leave.
By the time we got frustrated with the parking her boyfriend was almost there so we headed over there instead. Koly was spot on with her diagnosis of the car and it fired right up with a different key. With her car back in shape we took a second shopping detour and headed to Ross where I got a serious bargain on some Sketchers.
I was going to take a nap but I think I’d rather get to bed early and wake up for a hot tub in the morning before I leave. Over all I think it was a successful weekend away that was just as good as if I had cheated on my diet. Maybe even better because I never had that overly full “i’m going to puke” feeling.
I started the purification program yesterday. It’s a program that the doctor I work for recommends for detoxing and cleaning out the body from everyday toxins.
It also promotes weight loss, so you know that is why I am doing it.
It is a very strict program that lasts 21 days. It involves restricting your diet to veggies and fruit and 1/2 half cup of brown rice per day for the 1st 10 days and then you add lean protein in on day 11. You also take a series of all natural vitamins and shakes to aid with the detoxification part of the program.
It is something that a lot of the girls in the office have done and have had great results with. Not only with weight loss but with clearer skin and better hair. It’s something I have wanted to do for a while but never really had the guts.
Well, since two of the girls wanted to do the program again for the new year and my diet has been so crazy out of control forever I decided this was just what I needed to kick myself in the butt.
With the girls doing it as well it will make more accountable and with the strictness of it and the short duration it will make it easier to follow.
And as I was telling my husband last night, after this diet, weight watchers food is going to seem like a cheat!!
So today is day two.
Yesterday I thought I was prepared. I brought my two shakes that were waaaayyy to thick for me to actually defrost and drink until much later in the day. I had a great big giant salad of romaine and spinach. Why spinach I have no idea. I like it in small doses but I don’t know what made me think I would love to eat a great big bowl of it. For some reason thinking I had the courage to do this drastic change made me think I would enjoy eating things I hadn’t in the past. Meh.
So breakfast was a frozen solid shake and lunch was a very unenjoyable salad that I could stomach more than ten bites of.
When I finally got home Rob stir-fried my 1/2 cup of brown rice with a little bit of olive oil and some Asian veggies and I nuked a half of a yam and that was my dinner. OH MY GOD it was so good just to get something warm and substantial in my stomach.
Before I ate though I made sure I prepared more for today. I grilled up some Brussels sprouts in olive oil and garlic and made up my shakes so they were much thinner and were easier to drink.
I ate last night at 7:30 and was in bed by eight. Heh.
Today went much smoother due to better food choices. I had an apple with my shake this morning. And I remembered to bring 1/4 of an avocado for my salad of romaine and also a half a sweet potato so I could have something warm.
Tonight I had rehearsal. I had my other shake to drink during it and I heated up my rice and brussell sprouts right before I left work and ate it in the car right before I went into the theater. That left me with the half a yam I just ate to get something more in my belly before bed.
So far so good. I did have a minor panic attack after taking my afternoon supplements as I had a hot flash and my stomach turned. I don’t think it was related to the supplements as much as it was the fact that I started my period today and I am on the second day of withdrawing from sugar. It went away as soon as I took the puppy for a little walk around the building.
At least work and rehearsal provide a distraction. This weekend will be the hardest test I think. I think I’ll see about going for a run each day to keep myself motivated.
I’ll keep you posted.