Here We Go Again…

So yeah, I know. I’ve not really been around this blog and there is a good reason for that.

I gave up.

It all started when I gave myself permission to take the year off from the Vegas 1/2 marathon. I had done it that previous three years and decided I would skip it for 2013 and give myself a break. Apparently, I gave myself a break from EVERYTHING. From exercise to trying to eat right, I have pretty much done NOTHING in the way of trying to get healthy.

Sure, I would start a diet for a couple weeks but even then I was taking little cheats here and here and then complaining because I wasn’t losing any weight. I’d overlook my cheating and get frustrated at my lack of results and quit the diet. Well, you can only be in denial for so long.

My year of denial has cost me an extra 30 pounds, depression, mood swings and the inability to walk a mile without my lower back seizing up like it used to when I was 300+ pounds and I couldn’t walk more than a block.

I’m at 250 pounds. That is the heaviest I’ve been in a darn good long time. A tight size 22 with an uncomfortable amount of girth around my stomach. I feel unhealthy.

So here I go again. I have rejoined weight watchers and started back on the points today. I also took my first walk in forever on my lunch break. I didn’t even make it a mile. After fifteen minutes I had to call it and go inside.

But it’s a start. I want more than anything to get healthy again, definitely more than food.

I know that the holidays are a stupid crazy time to start a diet but I will allow myself to indulge on Christmas with my husbands family as long as I don’t go crazy and get right back to tracking the next day. Working out will become a necessity as I do no like how I feel mentally and emotionally when I don’t.

So here we go again and I look forward to feeling better and hopefully shrinking once more.